i am unknowing

Two Years Sobriety Gone. But It’s Ok.

May 29, 2022

Daily Gratitude:

  1. Sleeping in
  2. Song birds
  3. Apple products
  4. Beautiful design

I hadn’t drank in two years.

It started when a friend proposed a challenge to stay completely sober for 90 days. I jumped at the opportunity because I felt that I could do it and it would be beneficial to me. The 90 days was easy. I started smoking weed occasionally at some point several months later, but I stretched the alcohol portion to 2 years without a sip.

It wasn’t difficult to stay away from alcohol when I was at home, or out to dinner because I don’t really like the way alcohol makes me feel. It was a bit harder in group settings where everyone had the goal of getting a little tipsy and/or drunk to have a better time.

I was always the sober one, and most of the time I ended up being a bit annoyed with the drunks.

A couple nights ago I went to grab another non-alcoholic beer from the fridge at my birthday party at a friend’s house. It wasn’t until I had cashed half of it that I realized it was actually an alcoholic lager I was drinking! My streak was ruined!!

I didn’t really care though.

I finished the beer and didn’t have any for the rest of the night. It hit me again how I didn’t really like how it made me feel, but it was totally ok to have one every once in awhile.

Last night we went out to dinner with a big group and I was craving a scotch. I love the taste and haven’t had one for 2 years! I decided to get one at dinner and enjoy it. The pour was gigantic so I really started feeling it, but it felt kind of…good?

The party continued over a friends house and I had some champagne and another beer and ended up getting properly drunk. The first time in several years.

It was an absolute blast.

While I woke up a tad hungover I was conscious of the consequences last night, so today it didn’t really affect me. The plan was to lay in bed and look at the amazing view out in nature at Piaule until around dinner time.

I might have a few beers tonight, I might not. My sobriety was a good experiment, but at the end of the day it didn’t add much value to my day to day life.

Thankfully I don’t have a drinking problem, and don’t think I ever will. I would much rather have a Heineken 0.0 while sitting at home than an alcoholic Heineken.

Maybe someday I’ll give it up again as another social experiment, but for now I’m not going to think about it and just do what feels right.

I'm Carl and I'm just gonna write about my life

© 2022