i am unknowing

The Confidence Complex

May 26, 2022

Daily Gratitude:

  1. Decaf coffee
  2. Daily puppy updates from mom
  3. Feeling inspired

Last night I was talking to my friend about New York. He had an interesting observation about the people here - a significant amount of people are trying so hard to be original and stand out, but it’s obvious that they arent “The Real Deal”, while on the other hand there is another, very small class of people that you can tell is the real deal.

It’s their posture, how they walk, how they aren’t looking at other people and seemingly aren’t seeking the approval from others.

Whether or not the conclusion is accurate, I know exactly the people he’s talking about and the way they carry themselves is very different from the rest. They don’t seem to concern themselves with the masses. They are seemingly in their own lane.

I am very observant and am constantly watching people. I love sunglasses because I can stare and no one knows. Hot women, hot men, funny looking people, sketchy looking people, cool cars, I see them all. The problem with this is that I am constantly comparing and analyzing myself with those observations and it’s sometimes quite negative.

Today as we walked (almost 10 miles as I write this) I tried to not focus and not stare at anything. Instead staying in my own mental lane.

This is way harder than I thought. I keep catching myself glancing at pretty people or shiny things that catch my eye. I ultimately think it’s healthier mentally for me if I stop paying attention to other people.

Seems a bit sociopathic but I really think it’s not. You can still be an empath and focus on yourself, not caring about what others think.

Not caring what others think is true freedom.

I'm Carl and I'm just gonna write about my life

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