i am unknowing

The Struggle With Doing Nothing

August 31, 2020

I know I’m not some revolutionary with this discovery, but man is it hard to do nothing. I don’t know where to point my mind when I want to just do nothing. There is always something that pops in that could/should/needs to be done…and what better time than now when I have nothing to do!

The problem is none of those things actually need to be done, and most of them shouldn’t be (check feeds, buy stuff, etc…). I guess the skill I’m yearning for is meditation now that I think about it. That or the ability to just zone out and not feel bad about it.

I need to occupy my mind or else it starts to drift into the danger zone. If that happens it takes far more energy to pull me out of it than if I were to just occupy it with some bullshit to avoid that happening.

Also…why can’t I seem to stop buying shit. I feel like it’s all necessary, but it feels so excessive! Human life hasn’t always been like this obviously, but it’d be nice to know what side of the consumptive spectrum I’m on.

I'm Carl and I'm just gonna write about my life

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