i am unknowing

Daily Lessons 5.23.22

May 23, 2022


  1. My parents being so supportive of my life
  2. Being able to build a garage
  3. Having a loving girlfriend
  4. The means to not worry about basic necessities.
  5. Working from home.

I’m feeling pretty refreshed today, but work is definitely not very stimulating. We’re working on a large project in a space that I’m not very confident in. The user stories are pretty fluid and there’s not a lot of structure, so for someone with low knowledge and confidence in the space it’s hard to really hit the ground running. Luckily a couple of the other developers are very comfortable and are running with it.

I found myself watching some cooking videos on Youtube and found them very comforting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdK9i6kzbfY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvDdGJTXrpM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puUR1oxnNP0

There’s basically no talking and the focus is purely on the food. It’s a nice step away from the “WHAT’S UP GUYS!!” high energy videos I constantly get fed. I have lost a lot of interest in those the past few weeks.

I am very envious of calm people. People who relax you when they speak, or when you’re around them. I wonder if it’s even possible for me to reach that level. I am a very neurotic person so it would be a big, welcome change.

Throughout the day I’ve been consciously trying to be more calm. Today went well, but I wasn’t faced with any adversity.

Adversity. That’s where I consistently crack. That’s where I need to focus.

I'm Carl and I'm just gonna write about my life

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